Here are three words I don’t always enjoy. Waiting on God. I love the Lord but most of the time I can’t for the life of me understand His timing. On top of that, I am terribly impatient (My close friends know this well. lol)
I know the value of time. I value my time. Never want a moment to be wasted. I remember as a little girl, staying up till the crack of dawn scared I would miss something important and instead waste my time sleeping. When it comes to waiting on God… a minute of God time is like an eternity in my mind. At times He will just have me wait; wait for direction, wait for a new job, wait for the finances, wait for some sort of clarity. And it always seems as if He just shut the lights off, knowing that if He were to give me a glimpse of light at the wrong time I would run with it.
He’s constantly saying, “Janet, not yet. Be still. Trust Me.” And those words sometimes make my flesh crawl. I’m thinking “But Lord! There’s things to do! Time is being wasted!” As if He wasn’t the Author of time and knew my end from the beginning. I just don’t always see the value in being still. Movement to me equals growth. Stillness equals stagnancy. So when He asks me to wait I become an antsy child who is on a sugar high from eating too much chocolate.
“Can you just give me a glimpse of the end result? What am I supposed to do?”
“If I gave you a glimpse of what’s to come you would either A. run with it or B. be distracted by it as you try to figure out just how you are going to get there, when the fact is you’re not the one who is going to get you anywhere, I am. I need you to sit still.”
“So what do I do while I wait?”
“Learn to trust Me. Movement is not always growth. You grow most when you are needing to depend on Me. There is more going on than you can see. I am preparing you. Believe this and trust in Me.”
“But Lord it seems impossible.”
“Nothing is impossible with Me. Whatever it is I am bringing it to pass, but before it comes there are things I need to work out in you like this fear and this doubt. Be still. Trust in Me.”
I’ve had this conversation with God more times than I know. At times it gets discouraging. (Janet when will you ever learn?!) But I thank God for His mercy because as much as I struggle with this, He is not willing to let me step out of time or step out of His will. He will do all to teach me how to submit. If I say that He is Lord over all then that means He must have control over my entire life. I can’t just have my way. His ways are not my ways, in fact His ways are better. He knows more than I. He can see that which I cannot. He knows what I am ready for and what I am not ready for. He has never failed me before and He won’t fail me now.
And so I am here. Like a child, learning to sit and wait patiently for the Lord.